Fear Exposed my Procrastination, So I Created a Stress Free Life

I’m a firm believer that truth finds you when you’re ready for an evolution. In 2013 I experienced a huge shift that forced me to re-evaluate my life.  I was a new mom, my relationship just ended, and for a reason unknown to me I had decided it was the right time quit my well-paying job and become a full-time artist.

I honestly don’t know what I was thinking.

Fear became a huge part of my life, and in learning how to support my emotional maturation, I had to recognize fear when it made itself visible, and also how to redefine my understanding of fear, and its purpose in my life. Facing my fears instead of running from it, I learned to sit still, converse and listen to what it had to teach me. By giving fear space to reveal the parts of myself I hadn’t paid attention to, it exposed a glaring flaw in the way I was living my life.


I had developed a toxic relationship with procrastination that was eating away at my potential, and fighting a constant battle with an intense fear of failure. Listening to fear, exposed these 3 truths in my life:

I was afraid to fail because I felt chronically unprepared. When an event, performance or speaking engagement rolled around on my calendar, I felt a panic that stemmed from the glaring question “Why haven’t I started yet?” Started event prepping, started writing and memorizing the poem, started getting my talking points in order, why wasn’t the bare minimum even done?!

My fear turned into arrogance. I had grown comfortable in how good at my job I was, I no longer felt I needed adequate prep time, because even at my worst and most hurried, I was still better than good. What that arrogance did was lull me into a false sense of security. By settling into procrastination, I had allowed myself to shrink into the most basic version of what I had to offer.

It aggravated my fear of being “found out”. What if people came to their senses and realized I’m not as good as they thought? This fear of being found out permeated so many of my thoughts, that I second guessed myself when accepting bookings, and side eyed when people expressed a desire to work with or even just have a meeting with me. It was also very common for my emotions to swiftly toggle between arrogance and feeling like an imposter.

If you’ve just had a “it’s me” moment, here are 3 tips that can help you get your life in order.

Keeping your day planner current and on schedule. Write everything down, it’s a practice that will simplify your life and your organizational skills.

Creating a de-stressing routine for when you start to freak out. Because the freak out will still happen at times, and having a self-care routine will help squash many melt downs.

Create and stick to a “get ready” timeline. Understanding that the panic sets in when there are too many tasks and not enough time to accomplish them, accurately analyze the time it will take to prep and get ready for whatever you have coming up, and put together a timeline to make it happen in bite-sized, doable tasks.

The hard truth; procrastination is a dim to your shine, but once you allow your fear to teach you what you have been missing, you will be able to create the tools for a more emotionally stress free life. Here’s to kicking procrastination’s butt and truly living your best life ever! full-width


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