Restive Blackness



photo by Ardean Peters
As a Black woman, I'm always fighting against something. It's become my nature to fight, to stand, and to be proud of "No, this is not what will continue to happen, because this is not ok." Some may say that the battles I choose to fight are unnecessary; and to that I offer the gentle explanation and reminder that our paths have not merged as yet, and may never merge. Each person's awareness is reflective of their own timing in life, and so the walls I want to break down in my life may still look like statues of beauty to you -- and that is ok.

As a Black woman, I'm also a lover that loves with intensity and pride. It's in my nature to love and in struggling through the reconciling of my place in this world as a black woman, I'm charged with love for my community. I'm constantly introspecting, and asking myself what I can offer my community. How can I impact change? Not only on a local community level, also on a national, generational level.

Expansive growth-affecting change in an expansive way starts as plantings on a local community level, and impacting change with and through those around you, starts from the seeds we plant with[in] ourselves. My growth through introspection tells me that everything starts from and with me.  As a Black woman navigating through a climate of systematic racism, I can't offer my efforts to positively impact my community, without first making some much needed changes in my life that will have the positive impact I desire.

That speaks to everything in life, the old cliché really does ring true this time: "Be the change YOU want to see."

What do these changes look like? Difficult. It requires unlearning, and then learning. Change that stems from conviction that further convicts is never easy, which is why a lot of people make the choice to stay the same. It's hard work! These changes also look life-changing, permeating every offensive area, leaving only room for love for myself, my family, and my community. These changes look honest. To experience growth, I have to be honest with myself, and respect those who are honest with me, regardless of their intention. 

So, let the introspection continue, and continue some more. full-width


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