That Time I Farted In Public


Regardless of every lie I've told, I've always been the type to get very embarrassed very quickly.  I try to hide it well, but I'm usually kind-of laughing while pleading beneath my breath for the floor to open up and swallow me whole.  Needless to say, I am the woman with the cool, bold exterior and very soft interior. That's fine.
I met him in 12th grade, he was tall, cool dark complexion, and gorgeous almond shaped brown eyes. He was a basketball player that had transferred to my high school. I was one of the prettiest girls in school (not my words), and he was the boy all the other boys wanted to impress. I declared I was going to marry him the first day I saw him saunter through the cafeteria, and unbeknownst to me, he had seen me on the bus months ago and already declared me to be his.
We were perfect for each other. 
He took me out to lunch one day, we walked to the Burger King, down the road, over the bridge and down the hill from our school. I ordered my lunch, he ordered his lunch, we both sat down, and realized we were the cool kids having lunch apart from the other cool kids, and we were both nervous as hell. So we did what we do to cover up our truth, we talked, laughed and made jokes.
And then I farted - the loud, brawling kind of fart. 



I knew he heard it because I remember it echoed, and I saw that he paused ever so slightly when squirting the sweet and sour sauce on his fries, and I know my weak attempt at a sneeze after the fact only made things worse. So I froze. And he said not one word. There I was muttering under my breath for the floor to open up and swallow me whole, and there he was not acknowledging the fact that I just destroyed the myth that pretty girls don't fart [loudly].
There is a beautiful grace in allowing people to embarrass themselves without feeling the need to call attention to it. We have evolved to constant moments of forgetfulness; forgetting our own blushing cheeks, red faces, whispers of self degradation, and social anxiety when our own missteps cause stares, jokes, and lifetimes of stupid nicknames. Treat others as you want them to treat you. It seems we have also forgotten that golden rule.
There will always be a truth to age-old clichés; one that rings from both sides of the story. Give what you want to receive. Pour into others what you want poured into you. Let your actions speak loudly to the Universe, and the Universe will honour you. Do unto others as you want to be done unto you. And I'm not speaking as the cool girl who looks like she has her shit together, I'm speaking as the girl that farts around guys that she likes, walks out of bathrooms with toilet paper stuck to her shoe, stutters horribly when reading through a script in front of the other cast mates, has to go home to change her pants because she peed when she sneezed (pregnancy really sucked), and is constantly falling up the stairs. 
In this age of cellphones, myriad social media outlets, the need to record and share everything, our mess-ups and embarrassments are no longer our mess-ups and embarrassments, but everyone's latest memes and dry ass jokes. We have adopted a false sense of boldness, hiding behind our devices, and insincere bravado, quick to call out and expose someone's mess-up while forgetting that strangers do not remain strangers for long. Friends do not remain friends always. Paths and journeys cross all the time. 
Let your grace be sufficient. full-width

(This post is a prompt from "One Minute Writer"
Have you ever made a really public mistake?)



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