Yes, You Can Love Them and Leave Them

Woman sitting in car smirkingI love hard truths, whenever one makes its way into my awareness I give thanks to the Universe for giving me the tools and resources to grow—of course after I cuss a little, because damn these tools and resources are sometimes uncomfortable, and downright painful. One such truth that meandered its way into my life about 4 years ago is this: “Those that know better don’t always have the will or motivation to do better. It’s truly better to love those people from afar if you want to grow.”

Most of us have a vision of ourselves in which we are better, we are smarter, more aware, happier, and more successful. We all want to access that better part of ourselves, but that accessing is an action we all too often fail at. We forget that in order to achieve that better vision of ourselves, we have to eventually put one foot in front of the other, and create space for the mental change to manifest into physical actions.

Wanting it is not enough.
We have to do the work to get there as well.

A man becomes a father. He talks about how excited he is to be the father he never had, because his father left when he was young and that’s messed him up. He makes plans, and creates the vision of himself being a better father than the example he had growing up. The baby is born, he’s not as involved and active has he had envisioned. He and the mother break up. He then becomes inactive in his child’s life. He had the vision, he had the intent, but failed miserably in the manifestation portion.

How do we remove those from our lives that are just content with the vision? Let me back up a bit. Should we remove them from our lives, or is that going too far? I guess the question then to answer is: How prepared are you to live a life of consistent energy depletion because someone integral in your life is refusing to do what it takes to match your energy?

5 Ways to Love Them from Afar

Footsteps in golden sand, with grass in the background1. Give thanks for them. There was a time when ya’ll were on the same wavelength. Recognize the good and the growth they brought into your life, even if that growth was you growing into your version of better without them. Honor the part they played and send them on their way in love.

         2. Be Kind. Whenever they cross your mind, send a kind word or thought into the Universe for them.  Energy responds to bitterness too, never forget that. If you resonate with the Law of Attraction, level up.

         3. Mind your business. Stop checking their social media. Leave them alone and allow them the space to carve out their path to their version of better the way they need to.  Leave that gossip shit for messy people, and if someone asks you, “How’s so and so, didn’t ya’ll use to hang?” don’t talk shit.

         4. Be open. Sometimes it may be necessary to hold space for a re-connection if even briefly. Being open to a catch-up conversation, a moment of healing, a venting session etc. may soothe an easier pathway to their bettering.  If you feel the nudge send a text and wish them well.

5       5.  Don’t compete. Remember that bettering is not a competition, no one wins ascension prizes, life is not like Dave & Busters. Granted they may be checking your social media, and asking mutual friends about you—so what? Let them do that. What you don’t want to do is be a show off and start showing your ass at how better at yourself you’ve become. That’s ugly.

When life creates the space for you to grow and glow up, some people will be left behind. These people know they want to be and do better, they want to grow and glow up too! And even though they have the tools and resources, they lack the will and motivation to take those next steps. Don’t love them into your own detriment Love, cross the street and let them find their own way. full-width


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